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me with daddie during a thunderstorm

tuhree:

teenkai:

me: *suckin dick*

thunder: *makes loud noise*

me: AAH! *hides in daddie’s foreskin*

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goddamn-batgirl:

prismplague:

arctoidea:

there are too many pictures of mermaids in sexy poses and not enough of them drowning and eating men. whats up with that

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THANKS FRIEND

whowasntthere:

championofazura:

Girls, romanticize yourselves. You are a queen. You are a warrior. You are an enchantress. You are a mermaid. You are a goddess. You are all of these things and more, you are the stuff of fairytales. 

Women, traumatize others. You are a dragon. You are a wolf. You are a bump in the night. You are the last thing they see in the darkness. You are all of these things and more, you are the heart of their fucking nightmares.

sprookyloser:

Don’t be a religious suburban white mom about it

shailenewoodleyssideboob:

look at ur tummy. pat it gently. it is so cute.

look at ur thighs and your butt. wiggle them. they are so cute.

look at all of your body parts. blow kisses at them and tell them they are so cute.

DO NOT SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT THEM. EVEN IF SOMETIMES YOU GET MAD AT THEM THEY ARE PART OF YOU AND THEY ARE SO CUTE AND YOU ARE SO CUTE.

meladoodle:

breakdalaw95:

dinofarts:

TODAY IN BIOLOGY CLASS WE LEARNED THAT WHEN YOU MOW THE GRASS THE BLADES RELEASE A CHEMICAL THAT MAKES THAT GLORIOUS SMELL BUT THE REASON WHY THEY RELEASE THE CHEMICAL IS TO WARN OTHER GRASS BLADES OF DANGER SO WHEN WE SMELL THE FRESHLY CUT GRASS SMELL IT’S NOT JUST A GOOD SMELL IT’S THE SMELL OF THE BLOOD AND SCREAMS FOR HELP OF THOUSANDS OF GRASS BLADES

wat is the grass supposed to do about it

oh yes grass run for your lives

"I play my lute menacingly."
-Me, the bard, as our team interrogates a goblin we held prisoner. (via outofcontextdnd)